First Blush

October 4, 2009 at 10:54 am | Posted in Good Application of Blush, Stand Out More | Leave a comment
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With teens wearing makeup earlier—90 percent of 12-year-olds used cosmetics in 2000, says one study—many parents wonder when it’s too early.  It’s up to a girl and her mother.  “You might let her go along with the crowd—as long as it’s not too provocative,” says David Elkind, Ph.D., author of The Hurried Child (Perseus Publishing, 2001). “But if she’s maturing faster than her friends, makeup may make her stand out more,”  Either way, says makeup artist Bobbi Brown, author of Bobbi Brown Teenage Beauty (Cliff Street Books, 2000), tips form Mom—like using concealer, not all-over foundation, to hide blemishes—can’t hurt. –Meredith Perez

 

22% of kids 9 to 17 say, “I can hardly wait to be on my own”

August 10, 2009 at 11:02 pm | Posted in Categories: Harmless Play-acting, Deeper Intimacy, New Things | Leave a comment
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What may see like harmless play-acting actually has serious consequences.  “Instead of trying out a range of new things and building confidence that way, kids are borrowing identities from celebrities,” say Borba.  “They’re racing into adulthood before they’ve learned to feel safe about who they are.”

The ability to form solid connections with others, so important to overall happiness, is also suffering:  “Teens are hooking up and having one-night stands and not developing relationships,” says Borba.  “One of the reasons is they’re seeing so much sex everywhere.”  As a consequence, the far deeper importance of intimacy in human relationships is lost.

We can’t pull our kids out of the world they live in.  They’ll be tempted by the lingerie, the makeup, the out-there screen savers, the grinding on the dance floor.  But there are specific ways to equip them to deal with the pressures and to make sure that they stay kids.  Take a look at what may be happening in your child’s life and what you can do.

The Guidance of Parents

June 29, 2009 at 11:28 pm | Posted in Block Off Communications, Good Inventory, Good Relationships, Next-door Neighbor, Parent’s Guidance, Parent’s Presence, Spared Scrutiny | Leave a comment
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As they come to know better who they are, adolescents form their own value system.  Their world starts expand.  Teens accept some ways of doing things, modify others, and discard a few.  Even their own parents values are not spared scrutiny.

 

Teenagers try out which values are for them, they ask “situational questions” or questions that occur them as they live their lives.  The presence of parents is important.  Teens need someone to answer these questions.  Parents need to give their children a good inventory of values, not just values from the television or the next-door neighbor.

 

Sometimes, teenagers may ask what seem like silly questions.  Don’t just shrug these off or give flippant answers.  These questions are very important to them.  Building a good relationship with them means being open to their ideas.  Answer their questions honestly, without laughing at them or trivializing them.  These reactions tend to block off communications.  Also, they express disrespect for the children’s feeling.  When asked, just reply.

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