My Focus on Family Life and Parenting

A new self

Think of someone who has lived in a dark cave all his life who one day emerges into the bright light of noon.  This may be an apt analogy for a teenager who is now beginning to think in abstracts, of concepts and ideas.  His thoughts are becoming more integrated, more complex. 

So he begins wanting to be alone most of the time, to talk less, he may even become irritated when disturbed from his reverie.  Parents must understand that their kids are not really angry or are being aloof.  They just want space for their thinking. 

Adolescents are very sensitive to stimuli.  They are both exhilarated and a bit afraid as they try to comprehend the changes in their bodies, the new ideas in their minds, and the fresh insight into people and events. 

They also experience conflicting struggles between rebellion against adult control and the need for guidance and directions, between testing the limits to longing for their parents to set guidance as a sign that they still care;  between feeling uncomfortable when their parents get too near and a silent wish for their closeness; between plans for the future and the uncertainties of the present; between sexual maturity and immaturity. 

Most adolescents seem to not even want to mention the subject  in front of their parents.  But parents should not just heave a sigh of relief and think.  Thank God that’s taken care of!”  it’s not ideal for teeners to learn about this most important subject through other sources.  Parents and child need to communicate about sex and the values associated with it.  It is better for children this way before they come across corrupted versions elsewhere. 

One of the last things adolescents go through is forming life goals.  Again, this is not an easy task.  But when they start thinking about the future, they are starting to show some maturity. – Geroge Amurao