My Focus on Family Life and Parenting

Your tween daughter wants to shave her legs and tweeze her eyebrows

WHERE SHE’S COMING FROM  It’s tough for her to keep up with her changing body, tougher still when she’s worried about unwanted hair.  Tween years are prime time for teasing—maybe somebody told her, “You’ve got man legs.”

WHAT TO DO  This is an area where you can ease up.  “Young teen girls are terribly self-critical,” notes Jull McLean Taylor, Ed.D., associate professor of women’s studies at Simmons college in Boston.” Removing one cause of self-criticism—like ‘I hate my hairy legs’ or ‘I can’t stand my bushy eyebrows’—may make sense.”  At the same time, address your daughter’s budding identity by mentioning her talents.  “We internalize the messages about ourselves that we hear over and over, “ says Lisa Machoian, Ed.D., author of The Disappearing Girl (Plume).  Make sure she hears plenty of positive ones.